Broken, Tell me how I did on my poem ^^ plz

[Hear_Me_Goddess]

I hear myself yelling at u it feels so harsh but I didnt care
I kept on screaming at u and u did the same.
You said u give up on me

I still didnt care I felt my tears roll down my cheeks as my screams hurt my ears.
I felt my throat started to dry up and hurt from crying and from holding in my tears.
Your voice breaks me into pieces

You said to me that u've seen me depressed all these years
I said to her back in a scream then why didnt u do anything and let me suffer and get the full effect of it.

You never answered me but yelled at me about a random thing
I felt my love giving out and running out for you.
I felt my heart shatter and ached from the pain and sorrow
I felt like I was going to die from my heart breaking into pieces

You looked at me saying that I never gave u a chance
I said back to you its because u never gave me a chance and treat me like I'm a kid. I am grown up now

But u didnt believe me so u kept on yelling hurting my ears and shattering my heart while I did the same to you. The yelling the screaming the crying will never stop until you give me a chance just once in my whole life...

Why is it too much to ask for... I turned my back on you just now and heard u say u had to go and u love me but i replied back with my hate in my words Idc bye...

I do not no anymore if I can love you ever again after all wat u did to me

and also I'm surprised you dunt hate me for wat I've done to you... You only suffer and try to make me happy when it is to late to make me happy I got swallowed by my depression forever and the effect of it will always be there haunting me making me do things I do not want to do...

All I have to say is good bye...

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj104/AnimeGirl4/Obraz2.jpg

[Simply]

I think you should use another non-vibrant colour because the colour you chose stung my eyes. :rolleyes:

The poem sounded nice
So I read it trice
Over and over again

If you used spell check
And a bit of grammar correct
It would've sound much better.

x) Okay that may have not rhymed but from my point of view I think you really expressed your feelings there however I think that sort of ruined my mood to read it since you had bad spelling mistakes.

Yeah, I sound mean but I told you it from my point of view. <_<

However I think from here you should be encouraged to write more and you'll get better. xD

Overall, I enjoyed reading your poem and I want to read more. xD